The Media... That bastard

When I was in high school, some boys in my class called me a cunt. I didn't know what it meant but I knew it was insulting by the way they said. I slapped them but it really hurt me when I found out what it meant. I can't really describe how I felt because that words brings up some bad and confusing feelings.  I really hate that word. I guess that  is what a person feels like when they are called a nigger, cracker, wetback or a guc. I don't know why they called me that; I wasn't being mean at all. But I won't make myself the victim here because I have also been the antagonizer. When I was younger, my parents and other extended family members were racist when I think about it. I didn't know and I had a fight with my male black friend. He got me really mad I called him a mayate because I remember my mom using that word. I knew it was insult but I really did not know what it was.  He actually knew what it meant and our friendship suffered because of that. I vowed I wouldn't ever do that again because of the pain it caused and because of the shame I felt and still feel to this day. That is one reason I see everybody as equals, no matter what race or ethnicity they are. We all hurt the same.

I have seen some television shows adding more bi-racial couples to their shows and I think that is a major step forward. But other media, like music videos and certain movies, that promote stupid ideas of race and sexuality. Music Videos really put women down because it makes us seem like objects instead of people. Also in movies, there is always the token "black" man or other ethnic person in a movie amongst a whole bunch of "white" people. The minorities usually play a group of thugs who speak a lot of slang which promotes the idea that minorities are trouble makers. Take the  40 YEAR-OLD VIRGIN. There is only one black guy who acts according to the black man stereotype. He cheats on his girlfriend with alot of "hos" and talks in slang. It is very stereotypical and promotes certain prejudices. I love that movie though.

TV shows like SOUTH PARK or FAMILY GUY can be seen as shows that reinforce stereotypes because of all the dumb things they say. However, some see it in a good light because they both spare no one. All ethnicites and cultures are made fun of equally and that is refreshing in a way.

I don't think books promote the stereotype without an idea behind it. Usually when a prejudice or stereotype is used in a book, its usually meant to make a certain ideal more poignant.

We all need to take resposibilties for own actions and learn to think for ourselves. We can't blame media for our crappy choices all th time.

The Pursuit of Happiness

It is an odd conundrum. Which is more important, happiness or self-respect? I personally oscillate between the two.

 First of all, most of what we do is in the pursuit of happiness. It is even stated in our Declaration of Independence, " [We have] unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness ." As Jefferson pointed out, it is our unalienable right to search for it. Happiness is one of the biggest motivations in American society. We all want it; we divorce our husbands/wives because they cause us unhappiness, we quits jobs because we don't feel happy doing it and the list goes on. It is important to us. I believe that capitalism is based on a twisted notion of happiness: greed. That's a whole other discussion. But we all want it. Not many people like to feel depressed or sad. They become sluggish and uninspiring. The problem with happiness is that it is such a fickle emotion. I read Voltaire's "Candide" and the characters were  happy at one point in the novel and then seeped in sorrow the next. It was a whole cycle of happiness and contentment combined with sadness and depression. One of the big points of the novel was that one will never be happy always and it is better to lose yourself in work. That way, you do not feel and are unattached to your emotions. There is way more to this novel but this is a point I deduced from it. What we got to understand that happiness is never constant.

Self-respect on the other hand, is different. As Nafisi said in her analysis of Catherine's character and the novel is that self-respect does not require happiness. The thing about self-respect is that it is one of the first things to go. I have known women who get pregnant just to "snare" a man. They basically whore themselves out to accomplish a selfish deed. That's when I ask, "Where has your self-respect gone?" I really can't comprehend how a person can do such a thing as shed their self-respect for such lowly things. It really is one of the first things to go in people. More people should have self-respect because it creates a stronger character. The people of this society should take note of Washington Square. Just as Catherine wouldn't bend to her father's and suitor's wishes in the end, we too should stand up for our principles. That is part of what having self-respect is. Our principles and beliefs are what define us. When we lose site of our ideals and beliefs,  we lose ourselves and our self-respect in the process. We become lost in this busy world. That is why I believe there are so many lost souls in the world. They have no firm ideals or beliefs and when they don't have that, they have no basis for their self-respect.

I can't say for sure which is more important. One soothes our longing for companionship, to feel happy. The other gives us a reason to be proud. Self-respect gives us something to stand for, while happiness gives us something to work for. Either way, one has to ask themselves what they value more and then they will know which is more imporatant to them.

Capital Punishment and our Existence

There is always a person that one person that gets you to think critically. I had two. My sister is the first one and she is usually the one that turns my ideals on my head. The first time this happened was our conversation on capital punishment. I was just in high school and I had to write a paper on the subject. I was so certain of my stance that I bragged about it to her. My view back then was that taking a life for a life accomplishes nothing: an eye for an eye leaves the world blind. I truly believed this.I also thought it is better that we forgive and move on with our lives. I wasn't really religious; I just believed that forgiveness was the way we could stop the chain of violence. I had seen what hate has done to my grandmother. My grandfather left her for someone else and she has never forgave him. I have seen her become bitter and alone; that's why I say it is better to just let it go. If you don't let it go, it becomes part of you. A poison to the soul. But my sister pointed out to me that she would want to see my death avenged if she were ever put in that position. "How would you feel if someone killed me? Would you feel forgiveness? No you would feel anger and you would want to see justice done." She got me to understand that forgiveness is not an easy thing to achieve. Its not as easy as 1,2,3. She got me to understand this. By her statement, it got me to see that displaying forgiveness is a greater display of inner strength than righteous anger. I let myself listen and I learned something new. I would not change this conversation at all. Sometimes going back and trying to change things is more detrimental than helpful. Its better to shape the future tan try and change the past.

The other conversation was recent. My classmate was writing a philosophy paper and she began to speak about it. Her big question was "Why do we exist?" I responded arrogantly, that we are here to reproduce and survive. She kind of through me for a loop when she said, "Yeah, well do you know why?" I paused because I really didn't know. I am not as fast on my feet as other people but I really started thinking, "why?" When I finally came up with an answer, the class was over. I had been getting cocky because of a knowledge high I was currently in. I was proud of how much I have grown as a student but her simple question helped me realize that I still had a lot to learn. I am going to thank her next class because she humbled me and I believe that is essential in the pursuit of knowledge. I would not change our conversation.

I did come up with an answer for the existence question. My answer is this: everything strives for life and sometimes there is no sense to the world. Is there any reason we need arm hairs? Is there any reason that there is evil in the world? Is there a point to anything we do? I know it is a bit nihilistic but is there a reason for anything? However, I honestly think that everything strives for life because anything is better than solitude. I believe we aim to survive and reproduce so that we are not alone in the universe. Lonelinss has power.

Being Poltically Correct Sucks @$$

I really can't stand the fact that we can't say BLACK or WHITE without getting a dirty look from some people. The thing that really makes me laugh though, is when I see people, teachers especially, tip toe around the race of people. The race that people always have trouble saying is black people. I laugh everytime a teacher starts talkinng about culture and race because when it comes to black ethnicity, they pause and get an "oh crap" look on their face and then the say african american. This is what goes on in their minds, "Damn, should I say Black? That might offend people. I'll just say African American to be safe." This happens to all people who are not black. One thing I find funny also is that white people feel guilty about calling an African American "black" because of history. Well, its not really funny but it does have some humor in it.

I do understand the need for some poltical correctness though. Imagine if there wasn't. It would be like living in the time before the civil rights act of 1964. There would be people openly using the word niggar or spic or guck openly, because whether we like it or not racism still exists. I may be exaggerating the amount of use of racial slurrs, but I might not be. I know plenty of people who are racist which really pisses me off. It is in this situations that political correctness is useful. I think its best applied to people who are in office and those that are racist.

I know I am jumping around from subject to subject but I get really irritated when this topic comes  up. I feel its  a good thing in certain situations and in others, people go to far. It's like our freedom of speech has been severely restricted. That is why I loved the Chapelle Show so much. For my generation, he was the one who bent and broke the boundaries of what was considered politically correct. When he was hosting his show, he once said that white people say that all black people look the same and he shot back that he thought that white people all look the same. This is funny but can be considered politically incorrect.

I hate racism and I hate it sexism even more. But being politically correct all the time severly limits our freedom and this is one thing I value above almost everything else. If I can't say black or white in my class because I fear being politically incorrect than there is something wrong. Race and Gender terms are the biggest contributers to being politically correct. I haven't mentioned the gender poltical correctness terms because I can't keep a a clear thought in my head if I address that issue.

This notion of being politically corrects comes from people who have been oppressed by certain words for such a long time that it's undrstandable when they lash out with this notion. But people can take it too far. I say we should learn to live with the notion that there are some people who are just plain jerks out there and even though we place certain rules on them, some won't ever change. I know it sucks but that is reality.

We Kicked Soviet Union's @$$!

The two world wars allowed us, the United States and the Soviet Union, to rise to the status of Super Powers. Which is pretty cool but a heavy responsibility. If we paid attention in history, we know that a whole bunch of “conflicts” arose out of that era; Vietnam, Korea, and awesome Olympics. Then after the Soviet Union fell and The Hasselhoff sang a stirring song at the Berlin’s Wall fall, we were the only superpower left in the world. Which is awesome but it put us in an lonely position. But ever since we rose to this lofty position, the world has, in a sense, has looked up to us as a Big Brother. A hated big brother but a big brother nonetheless. The world looks to us for many things and they use our language as a common denominator, in a sense. Many countries use English to communicate about science, technology, business and diplomacy. I attribute it also to the globalization of the world. The world’s economy is tied in with each other and that has caused us to business with one another. I believe it is this that has accelerated the use of English everywhere. We are the main consumers of almost everything.  Air Jordans made in Thailand; totally worth it. Clothes made by poor Latin Americans; lovely. Gucci Bags made by the sweat and blood of Chinese peasants; oh yes! We consume more than we make and that is other nations economies love us; the people, not so much.

 The many nations in the world use our language because we, Americans, are everywhere. But according to Barbara Wallraff, other nations who learn to speak English usually add their own language into it. We did it with British English and other English speaking languages have done the same. As stated in her essay, “English is much easier to learn poorly and to communicate in poorly than in any other language.” Which, I think is true. If we say That boy dumb or Me no understand, we get the message. If you try saying that in German it comes out as nonsense. You would have to use a complete sentence to express that simple thought. Ich bin nicht dumb. Which is kind of annoying but good.

What I have noticed is this: the world adopts the language of the world’s superpower. Look at what happened when the Spanish took over the world and they were the world’s Super power. They had the indigenous people learn their language and now A whole continent and then some speak Spanish. The Portuguese were powerful too, and the whole country of Brazil speaks Portuguese. The ottoman Empire conquered part of Europe and much of the Middle East, now some parts of the old empire have Arabic words mixed in with the native language. That is the way of the world. However, when the super power collapses so does their hold on being the dominant language spoken in the world. Right now, it is the turn of English to be on top but when The United States falls, because it will, so will our “global language.” That is a cycle of life.  Nothing lasts forever and the power of the U.S. won’t. As long as we remain the world’s superpower our language will be the dominant language of the world.

Chapter 2’s Impact on My Writing Style

The first essay that really affected me was Mary Pipher’s “Writing to Change the World.” I have always believed that a story has the power to change the world just like the Jungle or Herodotus’ Histories did to the ancient world. I have had a few books change the way I look at the world and one of them was one called The Dead Emcee Scrolls, which is a collection of hip hop poetry. I love to write, poetry mostly. But I have been in a slump for LONG time. I read that book and I felt like a new door had been opened for me. It is beautiful and simple, something that has been elusive in my writing. Another novel that changed my life was actually written by Gary Jennings’s Aztec. It was just so explicit! I never knew how much overt language was capable of being published. But it wasn’t just that it was eloquent. While it did describe certain scenes explicitly, it was still a moving book with a powerful message. I may be exaggerating about the explicit content of the novel but it was just amazing. It was a tragic but optimistic book. Anyone who has read it will understand.

There are few words that can make you feel the simple force of one word. Just like a breath lost in a strong wind, the strength of a word like eyes, dark, light can be lost in the complex way big words are put together. I would have not known how strong a word was ‘til I read Richard Lederer’s Essay, “The Case for Short Words.” It was like the sun rise after a dark night. If you haven’t noticed I have been trying to use monosyllable words together but it is actually proving tricky for me. I don’t understand why! Well, now I do but it is still disconcerting… I am so used to putting words like verisimilitude and apoptosis into my writing, I feel like it has been stunted in its growth. It was like seeing fireworks burst in the night sky, beautifully simple. I really don’t know what else to say. I can blather on and on about how special this essay was to me but it would be better if I tried to show it. So here it goes.

I sat down on the seat and opened a magazine. The door was locked and no one was at home. I read a story about how Brad and Angelina were in another clash on who was in charge and I was shifting to the next page when I heard a knock on the door. It could not be happening. My private moment was being interrupted. “Hurry up, I need to use to the Lou.” The knock would not stop. So I got up and glared at my sister. No one disturbs my privacy.

The next day, I hid in her room, right in her closet. She took a long bath, an hour I believe. She came out, with a towel wrapped on her head, robe on her body. I waited and at the right time, I banged on her door as hard as I could. I peeked out of the closet; Big mistake. She is 5’0 feet and weighs 200 pounds. There was stuff I should not have seen. Never mess with a girl’s private time or you might pay for it in odd ways.

I challenge anyone who does not get bored reading my blog to use monosyllable words to describe a moment in time that is really significant to them.

Indifference is Worse than Hate

First of all, I just want to say that the speech given by Elie Weisel and Martin Luther King Jr.’s letter are one of the best written essays I have ever read. That said, I will discuss what indifference and silence are.
These two were masters at using ethos, pathos and logos. They weaved the concepts seamlessly; they tore out your heart, lifted your soul from the darkness of ignorance and rewired your mind at the same time. What they spoke of though was the evil of indifference and silence. I was once read that indifference is the opposite of love. After reading those two essays, I couldn’t agree more. What indifference brings to mind is a robot. I know it seems weird, but hear me out. When we think of the movie terminator, we think of humanity fighting against the machines. What was more frightening than their endurance and strength was actually with the indifference they killed with. Men, women, pregnant women, children and babies died at their metal hands. What is scarier, a man who kills in anger or a man who kills just because he can? As Elie Weisel stated, it is indifference that makes us inhuman. Because what defines us as humans is the ability to love. Other animals can possibly love but humans do it in their own unique way. Love drives our society subconsciously. Whether it’s the love of power, justice, money, mercy or equality, the most significant thing is that we love. Or as Thomas Jefferson alluded to, it is the pursuit which we yearn for. Even if we never experience love for someone or something, we will always pursue it.

Now silence, is a different thing. Let me give an example of silence. It was my first year in high school and I was taking algebra because It was not forte. The classroom was full of the typical high school kids. There were the party goers, the jocks, nerds, the cholos, the cool kids and the outsiders. I was a nerd. But as the semesters passed, the cool kids would bug this girl, who was an outsider. She was quiet and did her work. She was a nice girl and had much to offer in friendship. I talked to her but soon the “cool” kids, began to nag her almost every week. They made fun of her shoes, how she dressed and her silence. She just sat there and took it. It was painful to watch but her silence made it worse. It’s like watching someone die. I have never felt more ashamed of myself than in that year. I had the power to stop it but my silence was what caused her to be bullied. I have since than vowed not to remain silent against such injustice. It is hard to keep that vow sometimes because I fear standing alone. I understand what Martin Luther King said about the time of silence being over when he initiated the movement of desegregation. My case was not as extreme but I do understand the urgency of which he spoke of. Silence is worse when you care because it marks you as a coward. I would rather be categorized as a robot than a coward.