As this semester has trudged along, I haven't felt a big change in my writing. I still feel like I could do so much better. For me, it feels like I have been swimming up a waterfall, just trying to move up from the place I have been. This is how a salmon must feel. I have very high expectations for myself and I feel like I am not living up to them. I really feel no change at all. But that doesn't mean I haven't had some change, I probably haven't noticed it yet. What I do need is a change of venues though, but I am starting to get off topic.
What I have noticed are my strengths. I have found that I am decent at analyzing things and good at telling stories. I noticed this when I got good comments on my first and second essay which involved those two things. But I hate doing timed writings. I hate them with a passion. I used to do them in high school and I always dreaded them. At least the timed write in this class allowed us an hour and twenty-five minutes to respond to one prompt.
What I have enjoyed doing was actually responding to other blogs. My classmate's thoughts are so different from mine that I have had to think of ways to support my own views. If anything, this is what has strengthened my writing. I really has made me think. Many have actually had me modify some of my own beliefs, like the justification of hate speech. I really believe in the Socratic method of teaching, where we have to defend our positions in order to understand them. I feel that is what we have been doing in this class.
The reading I really disliked was ON BULLSHIT by Frankfurt. I felt like I was turned in circles over and over again. I learned more about bullshit than I ever wanted to know. It did get me to think logically, which is something I haven't done in a while. But I felt like it was just BULLSHIT he was spitting back at us. That's how I felt.
The hardest part of this course, for me, is doing group work. I can be a lone wolf and sometimes it's bothersome to do group work online. In person, I would be like "Hell Yeah! Let's do this!" But doing it online makes me lazy because I don't have my partners in front of me motioning to work. That's just me. The PDR has helped me idefntify my faults and has sharpened my thinking. I don't like to do it, but it does have its uses, just like farting I guess.
But once, again I have not felt a change in my writing. I don't want to compare my writing in high school and my writing now because I am tired of staring at my past. Maybe the reason, I haven't felt a change in my writing is because I feel trapped in this place. There is always a point where we all need to change our appearance, values and the place we call home. I am now at this place and I can't see anything but the change I want. My vision is narrowed, so I can't really analyze my change right now.
I could not agree more about the time writing. I cannot write something that looks polished and A quality in one hour. Heck, not even my blog entries can be written under an hour. The essay questions from the textbook take me a couple of hours as it is (probably since I do them all at once). I was really nervous about the timed writing because, like you, I did not like the book On Bullshit. I was hoping that the essay would be on Animal Farm because that book can be explained in so many ways. Upon reading On Bullshit a second time before the exam, I joked that On Bullshit was bullshit (Frankfurt really loves using gobbledygook). I was somewhat pleasantly surprised when the essay prompt focused on discussing why Frankfurt’s book is bullshit. Haha
ReplyDeleteRegardless if I felt less nervous about the prompt, I still did not do well (I think). I think I went off topic a lot because of the time restriction. I am like a chicken with my head cut off when I have to write an essay in a small amount of time. I especially feel like a chicken when the essay is on a book I did not particularly enjoy. I get hung up thinking of ways to cite examples that I may have lost sight of what the essay was trying to discuss. I tried my hardest to stick with the thesis sentence, so that my essay could have at least something redeeming.
The PDR bugged me to be honest. I spend a good deal of time critiquing papers and try to give good advice. I thought I would get the same but I end up getting yes and no responses. Mostly yes – which does not help. I will say, however, that PDR has helped me become better in finding faults in essays. This is a useful tool.
Hey Jasmine! I just want to say that I know were your coming from. It starts to feel like your stuck in a damn rut! Now this is totally off topic from English, but I sensed a bit of despair in your blog. I like your salmon metaphor, because I must say I have felt like I have been swimming up a waterfall for quite some time now. But after all the struggles I’ve begun to understand that the changes are there. Not quite visible yet, but they will be seen through the smoke after the battle. Just keep working toward those expectations and the change will come in time. Its the being patient with that time that really sucks. Now back to English… I really liked how you were honest about certain things in this class because I felt similar on a few aspects. I must agree that On Bullshit was just a bunch of bullshit, granted it was only 60 some pages, I still felt like I was hearing the same thing over and over again. The group stuff was also a little crazy, the only part I really enjoyed about that is the PDR’s. But as far as working together, it is a lot easier when your all face to face. But I must say I don’t have much room to talk because I am the slacker in my group, I mean look what time I’m posting this response. Online is much more tedious that’s for sure. Anyway, I have followed your blog and the ideas your post are great! You do have a different position on stuff but I quite enjoyed it because it helped my perspective. Regardless of any visible change, you’ve made significant progress and without that you’ve got absolutely nothing. Keep doing what your doing, things will turn out great!
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